Tragic news from the campaign trail today as Presidential hopeful, Junior Senator Barack Obama of Illinois, was attacked by a velociraptor disguised as a black woman. Campaigning with Obama was actor/philosopher Jeff Goldblum, quoted as saying, "God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs..." His concentration was then shaken by a nearby driving car (See Video Here)
Black President cynics across America proceeded to pay out bets amongst each other on how Obama would be assassinated. Death by dinosaur paid out at a surprisingly low 2:1. For more information, please use your imagination. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Goldblum family for obvious reasons.
